nonsense and F.A.Qs

i never know what to do when i’m home. i play piano. i work. i eat. but once in a while i will be stuck in the tar pits of boredom. like i am now. so why not write a blog? just to set the scene: i am alone in my bedroom, in my underwear, sitting on my bed, alone. well, not completely alone. i hired the old woman down the street to periodically throw tumbleweeds across the room just to enhance the mood. 

so anyways, how are you? seriously. answer! scream it into the computer monitor like a crazy person! i’m going on the road for about three weeks tomorrow. the trip goes from d.c. to madison to alaska to portland to seattle with other things in between. hopefully i’ll see some of you out there. it really has been incredible meeting all of you. since i was very little i wanted to be a comedian. i would do “bo shows” when i was like 3. they were very professional and had jewish writers. and now all of you are allowing me to live my dream. so thank you.  *tear* (which cascades down my face, hits the floor, slips between the floorboards, soaks into the earth and awakens george carlin. AN ATHEIST ZOMBIE! RUN FROM THE IRONY!)

the shows have been great. people are responding very well to my new material…i don’t know why i phrased that like a mad scientist. i’m very excited about my new show. i’m going to continue to post on youtube, but i want my live show to be new and exciting for all of you when you see it. 


now, i will answer some F.A.Qs

when is your birthday? august, 21st. 1990

how tall are you? 6′5″

really? yes.

why did you post videos on youtube? honestly, i don’t remember. that shows how confused i was. but i’m very glad i did.

did your family really think you were gay? i think so.

are you? no.

but like, are you? no. 

why don’t play at my college/event/funeral??? i don’t deal with that, sadly. you need to talk to your student activities board and/or email

why do your songs have the same chords? fuck you.

why do you blog? good question.

why can’t you remember any other frequently asked questions? i don’t know!


so, i hope you all are having a good fall. i’ve been spending a lot of time lately answering everybody on twitter and my facebook page so come say hi to me there. 

thanks for reading. no one reads anymore. except old people. and they can’t work computers. so if you’re a young person who can work a computer and also has read this far, i commend you. you will rule the world one day. 

take it easy everybody.

one love. (what?!)


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